it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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