i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
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There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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