This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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