dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize