Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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