I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize