i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Did I show you my penis last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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