I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I'm having to shit out rocks
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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