is wine microwaveable?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize