that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Bring me that man meat
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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