What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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