so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
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Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
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She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
i now understand why vodka
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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