biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
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Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
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First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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