not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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