if i can run in heels then i can drive
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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