he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
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You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
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Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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