drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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