After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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