I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize