everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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