An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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