I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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