I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
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Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize