Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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