Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
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I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
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Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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