low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize