she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
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