I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize