you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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