She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
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I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
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I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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