We're like a lot better than the average bears
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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