I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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