he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize