Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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