Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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