Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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