Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
It's official drugs can't kill me
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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