No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
40s are totally the cure
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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