she woke up with a sticky ear
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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