what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
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everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
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My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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