All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize