I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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