I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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