Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I think a kid would responsible me up
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
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