I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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