Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize