I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
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