It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize