Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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