so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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